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27-Feb-1976
Dear Cecil:
With the price of meat as high as it is these days, I wondered how
I, as a city dweller, might hunt and eat my own game. I'm thinking
of squirrels. There seem to be enough to go around. Assuming I
could catch one, how should I clean and cook it? --E. Hemingway,
Los Angeles
Dear E.:
This isn't such a hot idea. City squirrels are inordinately fond of
rabies and other diseases, some of which can be transmitted through
mere skin contact. If your diet lacks meat protein but you lack
cash, I suggest you develop a taste for a meat substitute, such as
soybeans or Jack-in-the-Box hamburgers.
Country-bred squirrels are another matter, however, and if you ever
have the chance to try one you might wish to employ the following
foolproof preparation method (note to weak-stomached readers--skip
to the next question pronto):
Wearing gloves at all times (to protect against other, less
insidious, infections), take a sharp knife and cut lengthwise
through the squirrel's tailbone from the underside, stopping before
you reach the skin of the back. Next, hold the tail away from the
body (the squirrel's) and make slices across the lower back to
widen the strip of skin that connects the tail to the body. You can
now peel your squirrel like a banana--grasp the hind legs, step on
the tail, and pull slowly, peeling the skin off the head and front
legs.
After cutting the remaining skin from the hind legs, remove the
head and feet, then slit the body down the front and remove the
internal organs. The squirrel has small, elusive glands in the
small of his back and in the pits of his forelegs--these too must
be removed. Wash the body thoroughly with a mixture of water and
vinegar.
So, your mouth is watering, right? OK, now you can cook the
squirrel meat just as you would cook chicken, using whatever your
favorite recipe may be. (Shake 'N' Bake, however, is not in keeping
with the true spirit of the endeavor.) The tastiest squirrels are
the grey ones, red squirrels being both too skinny and too gamey.
For a more tender squirrel, hang the cleaned body up by what's left
of the legs for two or three days.
Bon appetit.
--CECIL ADAMS
The Straight Dope / Questions or
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