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Dear Cecil:
I've wondered about this for years, ever since I heard it in
the third grade from Steve Revoi. He said brontosauri had a brain
in their butt. Is this true? What did it control? Was it part of
the central nervous system or an entity unto itself? Did it have
angst or did it feel integrated into the whole being of the
brontosaurus? How about its sex life? As you can tell, I am very
curious about this topic. --Ruth M., Alhambra,
California
Cecil replies:
Your feelings are understandable, Ruth; there's
no question that the phenomenon of creatures with their brains up
their butts has acquired a certain desperate relevance today. But
let's start with dinosaurs. Actually, it wasn't the brontosaurus
that supposedly had two brains, it was the stegosaurus, the one
with the spikes running up and down its back. Archaeologists found
there was a big enlargement in the stegosaurus's spinal cord at the
point where it passed through the pelvis. Since the stegosaurus had
a pretty poor excuse for a brain in its head--the thing was about
the size of a walnut, only 1/20th the size of the mysterious butt
organ--speculation arose that the giant reptile needed some
auxiliary gray matter to mind its rump while the forward brain
handled business up front.
Naturally, this idea provoked a certain
amount of merriment amongst the more disreputable elements of the
popular press. In 1912, columnist Bert Taylor of the Chicago
Tribune penned the following ode on the
subject:
Behold the mighty dinosaur
Famous in prehistoric lore,
Not only for his power and strength
But for his intellectual length.
You will observe by these remains
The creature had two sets of brains--
One in his head (the usual place),
The other in his spinal base.
Thus he could reason "A priori"
As well as "A posteriori."
No problem bothered him a bit
He made both head and tail of it.
So wise was he, so wise and solemn,
Each thought filled just a spinal column.
If one brain found the pressure strong
It passed a few ideas along.
If something slipped his forward mind
'Twas rescued by the one behind.
And if in error he was caught
He had a saving afterthought.
As he thought twice before he spoke
He had no judgment to revoke.
Thus he could think without congestion
Upon both sides of every question.
Oh, gaze upon this model beast;
Defunct ten million years at least.
Alas, it was too good to
be true. Later scholars decided that the putative afterbrain was
just a neural junction where a lot of nerves happened to enter the
spinal cord. Such junctions are found in many lizards, as well as
in the ostrich. Dinosaurs may have been stupid, but they didn't
suffer from multiple personalities.
--CECIL ADAMS
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