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A Straight Dope Classic from Cecil's storehouse of human knowledge
23-Nov-1984
Dear Cecil:
Is there any mammalian species where the males breastfeed the young? The reason I ask is
that the external mammary features of males of the homo sapiens might be a vestige from a
time when men actively participated in childrearing. Needless to say, if men once had
milk-producing capability this would have far-reaching socio-sexuo-political
ramifications, to say nothing of the gossip value. --Genuinely Concerned, Washington, D.C.
Cecil replies:
Sorry to put the kibosh on this idea, Gene, which exhibits the sort of deranged
inspiration Cecil loves, but as far as anybody can tell, there is not now and never has
been a mammalian species in which the males suckle their young. You bring up an
interesting subject, though, and one that confirms one of my pet epistemological theories,
namely, that for any conceivable question, no matter how bizarre, there is some twisted
genius somewhere who has devoted his life to researching the answer. Just so with male
lactation. The genius in this case is one Martin Daly, a psychology professor at McMaster
University in Canada. In 1977 he wrote a monograph entitled "Why Don't Male Mammals
Lactate?" which I commend to all serious students of the subject.
Daly notes that there is nothing about male physiology that "appears to present an
insurmountable barrier to the evolution of male lactation." In fact, there are a
couple cases on record in which elderly men treated with estrogen for prostate cancer were
induced to lactate. The reason lactation hasn't evolved naturally, Daly thinks, has to do
mostly with the way male/female roles among mammals have developed. Males don't make much
"parental investment" in their offspring--that is, they don't spend much time
with them like mama mammals do. Instead, to put it bluntly, the males spend all their time
trying to score. This evidently is the most efficient way to perpetuate the species, which
should be comforting news for all you guys trying to romance bimbos in the local bistros.
Interestingly, there are some non-mammalian species in which the males do suckle their
young, notably pigeons and doves, who feed their babies "crop milk," which is
vaguely similar to human breast milk. And who knows, what with the Mr. Mom scenario
becoming more common, we ultramacho he-men may yet find ourselves in the restaurant
business. I personally am not looking forward to this--hell, I'm still trying to warm up
to the the idea of changing diapers--but since it's probably 75 jillion years down the
road at the earliest, I've got a while to get used to it.
--CECIL ADAMS
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