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A Straight Dope Classic from Cecil's storehouse of human knowledge
30-Aug-1991
Dear Cecil:
I was sitting at the Montreal Pool Room eating my all-dressed hot dog and suddenly the
question hit me: why is there no ketchup in an all-dressed? Is ketchup not as respectable
a condiment as relish or mustard? Is there a conspiracy? Does Dirty Harry's remark about
ketchup in a hot dog have anything to do with it? I would be so thankful if you could
shine a light on this obscure bit of knowledge for a passionate and perplexed user of
ketchup. --Paul Macneil, Dorval, Quebec
Cecil replies:
Paul, I know you don't mean to act like an alfalfa-chewing barbarian, but this is like
asking why Leonardo didn't paint the Mona Lisa on black velvet. Ketchup is destructive of
all that is right and just about a properly assembled hot dog (and we're talking about a
pure beef hot dog, not one of those things you could serve with dressing on Thanksgiving).
Ketchup smothers the flavor of the hot dog because ketchup makers add sugar to their
products. That takes the edge off the highly acidic tomatoes, but it takes the edge off
everything else, too. Which is exactly why a lot of parents like it, according to Mel
Plotsky, sales manager for the David Berg hot dog company in Chicago. (Chicago is one of
the hot dog's holy cities.) Put ketchup on it and a kid will swallow anything--and from
there it's a straight shot to Velveeta cheese, Franco-American spaghetti, and Deborah
Norville.
For that matter, you want to watch the mustard, too. Plotsky says your mainstream brands
like French's put in too much turmeric and whatnot. What you want is some unpretentious
mustard like Plochman's that enhances rather than competes with the flavor of the beef.
You should also steam or grill rather than boil your hot dogs--water leaches away the
flavor and softens the wiener till it becomes non-tooth-resistant mush.
But--getting back to the original question--you say you like the taste of tomatoes. Fine,
then eat tomatoes, as God meant them to be eaten--fresh sliced and piled on top of the hot
dog. The recommended ingredients of a hot dog with everything, in order of application,
are mustard, relish, chopped onion, sliced tomato, kosher pickle spear, optional peppers,
and celery salt. (Many think you have to get kraut in there too, but Cecil wants a hot
dog, not Oktoberfest.)
People get pretty emotional over the ketchup question. Mel Plotsky opened our discussion
by describing the condiment as a "catchall of garbage." Over at crosstown rival
Vienna Sausage, they refer to ketchup as the "K-word." If you go into an
authentic hot dog joint and ask for ketchup on your hot dog, the counterman will pause and
look you in the eye. He may or may not say, "Ketchup?" with a tone of disbelief.
But you may be certain what he's thinking: "Behold this creature that walks like a
man. It wants ketchup on its hot dog."
But hey, if you want ketchup, by all means get it.
--CECIL ADAMS
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