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A Straight Dope Classic from Cecil's storehouse of human knowledge
21-Aug-1992
Dear Cecil:
Can you tell me why the missionary position is called the missionary position? If the
woman gets on top, is that the heathen position? Is there a difference between the
Lutheran missionary position, the Methodist missionary position, and for that matter the
Zoroastrian missionary position? --Victor M. Cassidy, Chicago
Cecil replies:
Victor, you're so juvenile. Learn to be serious, like me. The legend behind
"missionary position" is this: Early European missionaries discovered that
native peoples, while going about the business of propagating the species, often used
unorthodox positions--positions that people today spends thousands of dollars on
Kama-Sutra sex therapy to learn. (OK, I exaggerate: the alternative position usually
mentioned in this connection is the so-called dorsal or dog-style position, in which the
man approaches from the rear.)
Shocked, the missionaries declared that only the couple-facing/man-on-top position was
acceptable before the Lord. How the missionaries became apprised of what position the
natives were using I don't know, but I suppose if it becomes apparent that everybody else
in the village is having a lot more fun than you are, you make it your business to find
out why.
That's the legend, at least. It may not be true. The earliest citation for
"missionary position" in the Oxford English Dictionary is from 1969,
and the Random House unabridged says the term first showed up circa 1965-70. In other
words, it may have been invented by 60s hipsters who looked down upon the uncool
Presbyterian proselytizers of an earlier age. In any case the missionary position was not
some Anglo invention; surveys suggest it is, and no doubt always has been, a common sexual
position in most of the world.
COME-ON LINES FOR THE '90S
Dear Cecil:
Having read the straight dope on the missionary position (what about the emissionary
position, Cecil?), I thought the Teeming Millions would like to know that a more elegant
word for the dorsal position exists, and that a gentleman desiring to initiate intercourse
with his lady pal need not embarrass them both by saying, "Let's do it doggy-style,
Babs." Instead he can purr (with foreplayful huskiness), "Barbara, my dove, let
us retrocopulate." No question about it, there are amazing delights to be discovered
in a good unabridged dictionary. --David English, Somerville, Massachusetts
Cecil replies:
Thanks, Dave. I bet you're a riot on dates.
--CECIL ADAMS
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