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A
Straight Dope Classic from Cecil's storehouse of human knowledge02-Apr-1990
Dear Cecil:
Recently I was watching the season premiere of Against the Law
(Fox TV) when a character mentioned that he had almost blown up his
dad by sticking a potato up his car's tailpipe. Naturally I thought
back to Beverly Hills Cop, where Eddie Murphy foiled the bumbling
cops by putting a banana up their tailpipe. Does this really work?
If so, why is it not more of a problem, especially in big cities
where roving packs of thugs beat the tar out of people for fun?
Seems like blowing up a car would have more comic value.
Must the
potato be cooked? Will any sizable fruit or vegetable (say,
eggplant) do? I'd test on my own car, but it already dances on the
thin line between minimal functioning and moribundity. --Patrick
O., Alexandria, Virginia
Dear Patrick:
How many times do I have to tell you? Don't believe anything you
see in the movies or on TV. Movies and TV shows are written by
Hollywood scriptwriters. For scriptwriters, reality is basically a
plot device.
Stuffing a potato or anything short of a hand grenade up a car's
tailpipe won't make it blow up. But it will keep the car from
running. If exhaust gases can't escape, the engine can't "breathe,"
so it dies.
Think about it. When a car's cylinders move up and down, they pull
fuel and air in and push exhaust gases out. If the tailpipe is
blocked, the exhaust can't go anywhere and stays put in the
cylinders, preventing fresh stuff from entering. No fresh stuff =
no combustion = no transportation.
It also means no unintended explosions, which maybe
is why street gangs haven't picked up on it. Thank God.
BLOWING IT OUT YOUR TAILPIPE
Dear Cecil:
Your reply to Patrick O'Malley regarding the potato-in-the-tailpipe
trick was, at best, only partially correct.
When I was a mere
sprat, my older brother and I heard rumors concerning the effects
of a potato lodged in the tailpipe.
Being good little experimentalists, we naturally had to determine
the truth. So a choice spud from Mom's stash went into our retired
neighbor's tailpipe (that is to say, his car's tailpipe), to await
his next trip to the store.
The car neither exploded nor became immobilized. (Perhaps one of
those wimpy imports people drive today would've conked, but this
was the Fifties, when men were men and American cars kicked butt.)
Instead, enough pressure was built up to eject the potato at high
speed.
Fortunately, our neighbor's driveway sloped up from the
street, so the potato impacted asphalt within a few feet. Judging
by the mashed potatoes left on the pavement, that tuber was
traveling fast enough to take somebody's head off.
Pleased to be of service, keep up the good work. --G. Hall,
Alameda, California
Cecil replies:
It is all very well to talk about potato theory, G. But it's only
through the efforts of bold pioneers such as you and your brother
that real advances in potato science are made. Thanks.
BLOWING IT OUT YOUR TAILPIPE, PART TWO
Dear Cecil:
Many years ago, when I was young and lived in a city far, far away,
I was tempted to retaliate against my neighbor's Miata. Casting
about for an innocuous form of annoyance, I chanced upon the old
potato-in-the-tailpipe trick.
Finding, like G. Hall, that one
potato tended to be expelled from the tailpipe, I didn't quit.
Rather, I just mashed four of the suckers in there. Success! Four
was too much even for a Miata.
Just trying to help those of a
vengeful bent amongst your readers. Sign me ... --"Spuds" McKenzie,
Washington, D.C.
Cecil replies:
Just proves the old saying, Spuds. If at first you don't succeed,
get a bigger hammer.
--CECIL ADAMS
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