What happens if I don’t put my one slice of bread in the toaster’s ONE SLICE slot?

Dear Cecil:

I love to fix toasted tuna fish sandwiches, but sometimes a whole one is too much and I make one with only one slice of bread. Imagine my horror and shame recently upon realizing I'd toasted the single slice in the wrong slot of the toaster (the one not marked "ONE SLICE")! I ate it anyway.

What are the implications of using the wrong slot--jail, food poisoning? Why is there a "ONE SLICE" slot at all?

Cecil replies:

Yeah, they should explain this better, so you could make an informed choice. And those cops directing traffic, too. They shouldn’t just tell you to stop, they should REASON with you.

Be that as it may, if you decide to embark on a campaign of civil disobedience with respect to toast, the only one who’s going to suffer (or even know) is you.

The “ONE SLICE” slot is where the toaster’s thermostat is. Use the other opening and you could wind up with under- or overcooked toast.

If your toaster has an energy-saver feature, in which only the heating coils in the center and on one side warm up when you make one slice, things might come out, you know, half-baked.

I know what I’d do, Cliff, but it’s not my decision. Do what’s best for YOU.

Send questions to Cecil via cecil@straightdope.com.

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