Dear Cecil: How many square feet of flesh are there on the human body? I’m thinking of making a coat out of my sister. Donald H., Dallas
Cecil replies:
Dear Donald:
You Teeming Millions have obviously been watching too much sex and violence on TV lately. Try curling up with a good book for a change–the World Almanac, for instance. You’d be surprised at how much interesting stuff there is under “Non-Federal Hydroelectric Plants in the U.S.”
But back to business. The adult human body, being a notoriously variable commodity, comes factory equipped with an average fourteen to eighteen square feet of skin. Not enough for a coat, alas. I’d suggest either putting Sis to work as a macrame wall hanging or letting her stick around until it’s time to redo the kitchen chairs.
Cecil Adams
Send questions to Cecil via cecil@straightdope.com.